Robert E. Wronski, Jr.

I’m on vacation, and it’s not the vacation I wanted, but when my plans fell through, I decided to make the best of it, and it’s been a pretty decent vacation. But last night I found myself getting grumpy over something, and the grump isn’t going away.

In fact, it’s getting worse. Every little thing is bothering me. I don’t want to be grumpy. But I can’t turn it off.

Anyways, I haven’t written anything in a while. I’ve been so damn tired all the time ever since I went back to work. But I figured I’m on vacation. I should try writing something. So I’m writing the random thoughts on my mind.

Like why is the girl I had a crush on in high school always in my dreams? I haven’t even talked to her in years. My does my shoulder hurt all the time? I didn’t do anything to injure it. It just started hurting one day and hasn’t stopped.

I have a new cat whose super sweet and super annoying. I really love my new job, but I’m still adjusting to not having as much free time. And I’m kind of feeling guilty about taking a vacation when my clients have stuff going on and need my help. But I’m supposed to take vacations and clients always have stuff going on and always need help.

Life is good, really good. But I’m always depressed. I just want to sleep. No, that’s not a metaphor for suicide. I literally want to sleep all the time. I love sleep. I love dreaming. Even though half the times in my dreams I’m just filing paperwork for some reason. I think I do more paperwork in my sleep than I do at my actual job.

Random, random thoughts.

I think I’ll go to bed soon.

There may be spoilers. If so they will be minor, but read at your own risk.

What the fuck did I just watch?

Come True is the story of a teenager who can’t sleep in her own bedroom for some reason that’s never explained and eventually isn’t even relevant to the story, though it’s the catalyst to this whole thing so it seems like it would be important. She can sleep anywhere else, but not her own bedroom.

So she goes to a sleep study, where there’s a creepy vibe, and with good measure, because the scientists are creepy and unethical, and should all be fired, and banned from the university. (Though that worked out for the Ghostbusters).

So the movie is from the point of view of the girl… until suddenly it’s from the point of view of the scientists. Then suddenly it turns out, plot twist, there’s this boogeyman haunting the dreams of everyone in the sleep study, and one of the scientists too. So that’s what the movie is about. Being haunted by this boogeyman. You’d think… until they just kind of abandon that idea…

And here’s the big spoiler so stop reading because I’m going to reveal the ending. She’s been in a coma for 20 years, even though she’s 18 in the dream, and even though there are entire scenes in the movie that allegedly were part of her coma dreams… that she wasn’t in. How was she dreaming what was going on in scenes she wasn’t present in.

And she also has fangs at the end for some reason.

None of it made sense. The movie was building up as this mystery, and then there was no pay off. It was, ha ha, you never guessed this twist ending, especially since none of the past hour and a half had anything to do with it…

I’m angry that this movie exists. It wanted to be clever. It was not.

I love going to the theater to see a movie. It’s different than watching it at home. It’s not just screen size. At home when I’m watching something I’m distracted by my phone, by my laptop, by my cat…. I go to the theater and I make sure I pee before going in, and I sit for two hours and my mind isn’t on politics, or my job, or anything going on in the world. It’s just about the movie. It’s a form of spiritual meditation to me.

Since the movie theaters reopened here in Massachusetts they’ve been pretty good about having movies that I wanted to watch. Sometimes it was a new film. Sometimes it was a classic that they brought back to theaters. But I was able to have my weekly meditation.

I don’t know what’s going on, but the past four weeks there’s been nothing I want to see. There’s plenty of movies streaming, and I have pretty much every streaming service, but as I said, it’s not the same as the theater experience.

There are movies at the theater. And I recognize that they are movies that someone wants to see. Someone wants to see the new Tom and Jerry. I’m sure there’s an audience for Boogie. But it’s not me. Looking ahead, it looks like the drought will continue until Kong vs. Godzilla comes out in a few weeks.

The good news is that New York just reopened theaters. I’m not naive. I get that Hollywood will see New Yorkers as more important than us Massholes. So now that NY theaters are open, perhaps Hollywood will start sending movies back to theaters instead of constantly moving the release dates or just going straight to streaming.

Since Trump left office, I’m watching the news less. It’s not holding my interest. I don’t seem to care.

Part of this is because I don’t find myself waking up every day being outraged by whatever offensive, terrible thing our president has done or said over the past 24 hours. Maybe I’m just feeling a sense of safety and security now.

It’s not that there isn’t still things to be outraged about. Kids are still separated from parents and in cages. Racist attacks are on the rise, and now towards Asians. We’ve still got war in the middle east. We have Qanon and insurgent co-conspirettors in our government. People are suffering from cold in a state that doesn’t know cold, and their own leadership has abandoned them. And that’s just off the top of my head.

Maybe it’s not apathy or a false sense of security. Perhaps, I’m just tired. I’m burnt out by the Trump era. I need a break. I need to watch sitcoms and super-hero shows, and go back to writing about TV crossovers, because my brain just can’t process the never-ending drama of America right now. I don’t want to talk about cancel culture. I don’t want to fight about Mr. Potato Head. I’m sick of hearing about people’s anti-mask paranoia. I just want to watch cartoons and read comics and regress back to my childhood for a while, if that’s okay with you.

I had so much fun writing this book, I’ve already started on Volume 2!

The paperback has an issue with the cover sizing, but the kindle version is now available. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08VWZRQXZ/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=saturday+morning+crossover&qid=1612445658&sr=8-1

Remember Saturday Morning Cartoons? Welcome to the first of a series of books from the creator of the Television Crossover Universe that explores the crossovers that makes our favorite Saturday morning cartoons part of a larger shared cartoon universe and multiverse.

While I haven’t done much work in the TVCU blog lately, I’m 100 pages into Saturday Morning Crossovers (the project which used to be tentatively titles Cartoon Multiverse: The Cartoon Crossover Encyclopedia).
The book is half original material and half blog post reprints. Rather than trying to fit all cartoons into a singular continuity (my original goal), I’m instead writing a series of individual chronologies based on what was airing on Saturday morning in 1970.
So far my subjects are for the first 100 pages: The Reluctant Dragon and Mr. Toad, The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Hour, The Heckle and Jeckle Show, The Woody Woodpecker Show, Sabrina and the Groovie Goolies, Will the Real Jerry Lewis Please Sit Down!, Josie and the Pussycats, The Further Adventures of Dr. Dolittle, Harlem Globetrotters, The Pink Panther Show, Archie’s Funhouse, H.R. Pufnstuf, The Hardy Boys, and Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!.

In January of 2018 I embarked on a quest to watch every movie based on an English language comic book.
I have finally completed my quest. So now what? Well, it’s been suggested to me that I should have some sort of forum to discuss my views on the films I watched, and so I’m launching a new podcast, Super Entertainment presents Comics to Screen, in which I will discuss comic book movies.
This won’t just be film reviews. Because these are all comic book movies, each podcast, I will discuss the history of the comics that the films are based upon, how well the film adapted the source material, and where the film fits into a larger continuity (such as it’s placement in the MCU timeline, or is it part of the Arrowverse multiverse, etc.) And of course, I will also offer my uneducated, but very opinionated views of the films I watched, to tell you if they were gold or garbage.
The new podcast won’t launch for a little while. I have to get a new laptop that can store the software and files. But once it launches, I’ll let you all know here.

And I don’t feel fine.

I’m amazed how fast things changed.

I have to admit, just a few weeks ago, I was in the camp that this was going to blow over and it wouldn’t be a big deal.  I was wrong.  This spread so fast, and in the past few weeks, our government, mostly on state level, has reacted with extreme (but needed) precautions.

I get this whole need for social distancing and sheltering in place.  This self-quarantine.

But it sucks.

If this had happened some years ago, it wouldn’t have been much of a change for me.

For a time, I never left my apartment anyways.  I lived in deep depression, and this wouldn’t have been a lifestyle change for me.

But I spent years overcoming my depression and isolationist behavior, and re-entered the world.  I developed a structure of fellowship and support, which involved being around other human beings as a vital aspect.

And now I don’t get to go to AA meetings.  There are online meetings.  There are phone meetings.  Both miss the vital aspect I need.  That half-hour before the meeting.  The fellowship.

My church has also stopped meeting.  No coffee hour.  No bible discussion.  I can drink coffee alone.  I can read the bible alone.  But I miss the gathering.  I even miss the uncomfortable arguments that would come from so many different people coming together.

I’m stuck at home, realizing that despite my mental health/recovery supports, I never re-developed a social circle of friends. I am alone.  And that was actually okay.  I didn’t mind that I spend most of my time alone, because I got to have those meetings and coffee hours.  As an introvert, I would go and spend an hour with people, and that would fill my need, then I was able to go home and be alone again and that was okay.  Now grocery shopping is my only real interaction with other people.  I sit home watching the news, and our president won’t tell the truth, because he thinks he has to exaggerate a positive spin for us, but I just want honesty, because honesty is safe.

It’s also been an awkwardly weird few weeks for me for other reasons, that this pandemic just has topped it off.

I was working at a shelter.  A few weeks ago a guest punched me.  Rather than being supportive, the bosses at the shelter chose to attack me.  I consulted with several other people in the field, people who work in equivalent roles to my bosses.  They all agreed that I handled the situation commendably, and that my boss was ridiculous.  Realizing that I was in a toxic, abusive situation with my employer, I quit.

But meanwhile, I had been, with the shelter season ending, applying to other jobs.  Five jobs I responded to all contacted me in at the same time.  I spent two weeks (yes, during this crazy pandemic), interviewing.  I expected that maybe one might offer me a job.

It has been a weird few weeks for interviewing.  One job decided after the interview to halt the hiring process until this pandemic crisis is under control.  In another interview, we all had to sit six feet apart, and definitely no hand shakes.  Meeting with an HR representative, she wouldn’t let me in the building, and made me fill out the paperwork in my car!

So of the five jobs I applied for:

My top choice is peer support specialist for ServiceNet Recovery Zone in Greenfield.  They are still checking references to my knowledge.

My second choice was for recovery coach for Community Health Center of Franklin County.  They are the ones who halted the hiring process until the pandemic is over.

My third choice is for office manager for the Recover Project.  I have to go back on Tuesday to take a computer test.

My fourth choice is for overnight staff at the Greenfield Family Inn.  They are supposed to be getting HR to reach out to me, but that hasn’t happened yet.

My bottom choice is for overnight relief staff (seasonal) for the Interfaith Cot Shelter.  That is my bottom choice mostly because it’s only two nights and the job ends April 30.  But ironically, it’s the one I’m closest to getting.  I filled out the hire paperwork with HR.  They are just waiting on me to get fingerprinted, my direct deposit info, and my CORI to come back.

The other major lifestyle change is that I got a car.  Yes, I got a car, that I have to make payments on, then I quit my job!  But, if I hadn’t gotten the car, I wouldn’t have been able to attend these job interviews.  And the car has been so helpful with being able to go to the grocery store, so that I’m not paying for overpriced food at the corner market.

So…  I’m really missing my meetings and church stuff.  I miss the fellowship.  Oh, and movies.  I miss going to the movies.  Watching TV is not the same as the movie theater experience.  But… It’s not much of a lifestyle change for me to stay home.  It’s not much of a lifestyle change for me to be alone.

I saw a meme on Facebook that said “I picked the wrong year to get my shit together” and that really sums it up.  When I was living with depression and isolation, none of this would have really affected me.  But now that I actually am getting back out into the world… Sorry, the world is closed.  The moose out front should have told you.  (Who gets that reference?)

I used to have a series on this blog where I would just reprint my random Facebook posts.  So here you go…

Happy singles day to all my single friends. And to all my friends in relationships… well, I hope you have a lovely Valentine’s Day I suppose.

Last night I felt like death. But after some ibuprofen and several cups of coffee I feel great. I got to pee a lot though.