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Return of Random Facebook posts Early 2013 Edition

26 Apr
American comedian and television show host Ste...

American comedian and television show host Stephen Colbert. Photographed June 3, 2006 at Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Dean Martin Christmas Album

Dean Martin Christmas Album (Photo credit: BGSU University Libraries)

 

steve martin

steve martin (Photo credit: whittlz)

 

Timberlake performing at St. Paul, Minnesota, ...

Timberlake performing at St. Paul, Minnesota, one of the venues of his first worldwide tour, FutureSex/LoveShow (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Beverly Hills, 90210 logo

Beverly Hills, 90210 logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

I’m so fat, I can only buy belts my size if I special order them online.

 

Damn insomnia hits when I have to get up in the morning.

 

So I’m at the register purchasing paper plates, and the cashier asks if I’m doing so to avoid washing dishes. Exactly, my friend. Exactly.

 

“The Boston nightmare is over. Good news! The Yankees can go back to hating the Red Sox again!”–Stephen Colbert

 

I can’t believe I’m caught up on dishes and laundry.

 

Rather than our usual talks of Lego, super-heroes, and Doctor Who, tonight Connor and I discussed terrorists, North Korea, and oddly, the South Korean musician PSY.

 

I guess my posts about shows and films I like and dislike was to point out how much I hate being stereotyped. I’m a nerd, sure, but we aren’t all into the same things. I actually dislike Babylon 5. Never cared for Iron Man or Thor comics. I love camping and suck at computer programming (so I really hate being asked to fix people’s computers. I will only destroy your computer if I try.) I listen to Eminem, the Beatles, and Weird Al. I’ve seen every episode of Beverly Hills 90210 but I’m not into anime. I know almost everything about Superman, have a lot of knowledge about the paranormal, but I’m also passionate about equality and social justice. I was an American solider, an Infantryman. I’m a father. I don’t eat my vegetables, and I love the beach. I’m just me.

 

So I just realized how awkward living next door to my ex will be. Even though she chose to end our engagement, and she didn’t want to commit to strengthening our relationship, but instead wanted to step back to a point as if we had never started dating, and I’ve suffered with pain and heartache, she now completely ignores me when we pass on the street and I say hello. I mean, completely ignores in the childish “Let’s pretend there’s nobody there” kind of way. This is why I will never, ever enter into another relationship ever again. I’m too old and tired for the stupid relationship games, the fights, the heartache. Better to just accept solitude for the rest of my years.

 

Can I be considered a celebrity if I’m walking down the street and someone stops me to settle a batman argument because I’m “the expert”?

 

I know this will come off as a strange comparison, but I think Justin Timberlake is today’s Dean Martin. He’s a great musical performer (even if I’m not necessarily a fan of his genre of music), a great dramatic actor, a great comedic actor, and an overall great entertainer. I could see him hosting his own variety show like in the golden age of television, that combines comedy and music. He’s practically a cast member of SNL already, having appeared about half as many times as Steve Martin, which is impressive considering Timberlake has only been showing up on the show since 2000, as opposed to Martin whose been doing it since 1976.

 

I’m loving the new Griswold commercials mocking the multiple Rusty’s and Audrey’s. Going to be hard to place them in my Television Crossover Universe timeline, but I’ll find a way.

 

 

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Back by Popular Demand: Random Facebook Posts, December Week 1

8 Dec

Stop and Shop Old Fashioned Oats are too old-fashioned. They use the recipe from before they invented taste.

3am, and I’m very tired, but unable to sleep. My nightly night meds are apparently doing battle with that coffee I had this evening. I have to learn to commit to either sleeping at night or staying up at night, and not telling my body to do both.

I can’t believe it. A Christmas special that references the birth of Christ and the gifts he was brought as why Santa brings children presents.

When I was in the Army, I had a soldier who believed that he had prophetic visions of the coming apocalypse, and that during those days he would be a warrior fighting against the forces of evil. I don’t know where he is now or what he is doing, but I bet he’s very excited and anxiously awaiting December 21 like a kid waiting for Christmas.

Feeling tired and lazy today. Not really depressed. Just drained. Think it’s going to be a TV and internet afternoon and evening. Guess I’ve been exerting too much energy recently. Or I’m just tired and lazy.

So far this year my son has maintained an “A” average in all of his classes in his first year of middle school. I’m so proud of him, and give kudos to his mom for making sure my son is studious.

Not sure if I’ve mentioned it, but I’ve lost 30 pounds since August.

Who says cats can’t learn English? If I say “feed kitty”, Fudge jumps up and runs to his food dish from anywhere in the apartment every single time.

It’s funny how some nights I need a full 14 hours sleep and others I’m wide awake after a solid three hours.

Today I set out to do nothing but chill out and relax. So instead I was extremely productive and got a lot done. Kind of the opposite of a normal day.

Note to self: When fridge is empty, I can keep it at a lower setting. I froze my leftovers.

 

This week’s randomness

30 Oct

I always get confused by the term “god fearing”. Why should you fear your loving father. Only when a child does wrong should he fear his father’s wraith. So are god fearing people saying they’ve done something evil? Only time a good child should fear his father is if his father is an evil, abusive father. So god fearing people are evil, or else their god is.

My dilemma: across the street is free pizza, but between here and there is a hurricane.

Library closed early on account of rain.

Done with universal monsters for a while. Time for a Krueger marathon, on this, the lord’s day of rest.

The scariest part of monster squad is when the bullies rip up the comic book. (Yes, watching monster squad for the third time this month.)

Was falling asleep reading so went to bed, where I was then wide awake, so got up and started watching a movie, but got too tired to concentrate, so went to bed, where I was wide awake, which brings me to now.

John Gresham is actually a pretty funny guy. He has a Bob Newhart style to his humor.

Old age is not knowing who the person hosting SNL is.

After going six weeks without soda, a went and bought a single can at the corner market. Finished it before I got home. And I tell you this tasted like the best damn cold beverage I’ve ever had in my life. Boy, I am a soda addict.

Spent 10 minutes at my fridge and cabinets trying to make something yummy appear. Not that I’m without food. I just have nothing I particularly wanted to eat this morning.

 

More odd stuff I say on Facebook….

24 Sep

 

Jesus on the wall of the senior Home

Jesus on the wall of the senior Home (Photo credit: freestone)

 

Another “blessing” of aging is that I seem to have become lactose intolerant.

 

A lot of people may get the wrong idea that I hate Christians and Christianity, and this is not the case. Many people who I care about, family and friends, are Christians. Why I tend to be opposed to Christianity in general is because it seems to me that most Christians I see these days don’t follow the examples of Jesus, which is about loving people and helping those who need help, but rather follow “White American Jesus” who believes in hate and violence and selfishness. I think another name for “White American Jesus” would be the AntiChrist. Those “Christians” who follow the path of evil are those who I will consistently speak out against since they constantly threaten my friends and family, and with to turn our world into a dark, evil place in the name of Jesus.

 

If people want to argue with me on Facebook on one of my posts, I have no problem with that. Bring it on. I love debate. But if you’re going to do so, then be ready to argue. If you’re the type of gets hurt feelings when someone disagrees with you, don’t enter into an argument with me. I’m very passionate about truth, justice, and peace. I hate dishonesty, injustice, and hate.

 

 

 

 

Random things I say on Facebook…

21 Sep

 

Lex Luthor

Lex Luthor (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

The thing about Luthor is that he absolutely hates Superman. He hates aliens. And he believes his reasons are absolutely reasonable thus all his actions of hate and evil are for the greater good. He hates that Superman is someone who fights for everyone, and not being out for his own interests. He hates that Superman believes in protecting everyone. Luthor hates Superman for not being like Luthor. But though Luthor’s plans to destroy Superman are always thwarted, Luthor’s smart enough to hide behind the law, and so he can continue to commit evil because he’s clever enough to pretend he’s a hero while being the worst of villains. He will destroy anyone that gets in the way of his plans, but he has the world worshiping him as a man of the people. Can you imagine how frustrating is must be for Superman to spend his days trying to save the world and fight this evil madman, only to have this evil madman continue to discredit our champion of the oppressed, and Superman is practically powerless to combat this because he’s not willing to stoop to Luthor’s level.

 

Porky Pigging it means to walk around with a shirt but no pants.

 

6pm and I’m already sleepy. I gave up coffee a few days ago after I got sick right after drinking some. I know now that it was West Nile, not the coffee, that made me sick, since it lasted for several days, but now I still can’t think about coffee without getting a sick stomach.

 

Just 11 more days until the start of horror month!!!

 

Saw a redhead driving a car with lic plate “amypond”.

 

Just a FYI that free photo ID are available for those who ask it from their state for voting.

 

Bigots are moral degenerates.

 

Not that I like defending Romney, but I believe in truth, and he’s been slightly misinterpreted. He didn’t say he didn’t care about 47% of this nation. He said that 47% are democrats who have already decided and won’t change their mind, so his campaign shouldn’t be focused on them. But then he went on to say very bigoted things about that 47%, which he before stated was all democrats, saying they were all feeding off the government, wanting handouts, and not paying taxes. So hate him for being a bigot, not for something that might be misinterpreted.

 

Why do I watch SVU? The endings are always depressing.

 

Well, that just sucked but it at least it seems to be over. Not sure how I got sick, but I just vomited. I had ramen for dinner, and some instant coffee. Not sure how either of those would have gotten me sick.

 

Google now works out the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. Go to Google and search “Bacon Number” followed by the actor of your choice to see the connections

 

Octo-mom does porn??? In the same house where the kids live???? How did I not know this?

 

If I type in Elizabeth Warren in the Facebook search box, the first thing that comes up is Paul Ryan’s page. That’s…weird.

 

I’m afraid to visit red states.

 

I wish I had a rice cooker.

 

Feeling very lazy today. Using that they have to come into my apartment to do some work as an excuse to not do anything today.

 

In a perfect world, I’d be average.

 

I’m embarrassed to live in my building. Two days ago we got a notice that we’d have no power from 8 – 2 while the power company did work, but still all my neighbors were outside all day bitching at the power company about shutting off the power and constantly harassing them to turn it back on. I can’t believe they can’t survive for six hours during daytime when they had notice.

 

“Losing one wife is understandable, but losing three wives is considered to be quite careless.” — Sherlock Holmes in the Eligible Bachelor

 

Does flour expire? I’ve had an unopened bag of flour in my closet for five years (since I moved in.)

 

Put up some fall/Halloween decorations. Not because I’m feeling festive, but because I had to clean out the living room closet so the landlord and electrician can get to my attic, and since I had to pull out the decorations anyways, might as well put them up. Almost put up the Christmas decorations while I was at it.

 

Turns out my apartment has an attic. I’ve lived here 5 years. Had no clue.

 

“Who told me there was oil in my backyard? Who got me to sell phony stock to my friends? Who ran away with the money? Who got Mary mad at me? And if you’re tired of hearing ‘Who’, I got a ‘What’ for you… on second base!”–Lou Costello as Joe Bascomb in Mexican Hayride

 

 

Confused

11 Sep

 

How is it that a party that considers itself to be the more patriotic party can be so un-American?  They call our President a fascist, but they don’t believe in equal rights.  They don’t believe in equal pay for both genders.  They don’t believe in the same rights for all Americans regardless of sexual orientation.  They don’t believe in the government giving money to the poor who need it, but are fine with the rich getting lots of money from the government (and less taxes).  They oppose immigration, despite that being what created our nation.  They don’t believe in religious freedom, unless it’s freedom to practice whichever version of Christianity you wish.  They get angry and feel persecuted because they aren’t allowed to force their religious beliefs on everyone else.  And isn’t that how we got started?  Escaping to America so we can practice our own religious beliefs and not having them forced upon us?

I’m voting for equality.  I’m voting to live in a world of peace and not hate.  I’m voting to have freedom.  I’m voting because I’d love to live in a nation where we are allowed to do what’s right.

 

The worlds seen in Family Guy’s Road to the Multiverse

22 Sep

For those who have been struggling with sleepless nights over this, I have saved you by compiling this list of all the alternate universes visited by Stewie and Brian when they traveled the multiverse.  Enjoy, and have mercy on my soul.

1.  Bongo Universe (the home universe of Stewie and Brian)

2. Athiest Universe

3. Where the poop goes (mentioned)

4.  TVCU during the stone age in Bedrock

5.  Japanese rule the world

6. Two-headed universe

7. World where the Ice Age is now…and where the poop goes

8. Universe where everyone has to pee

9. Looninverse

10.  Robot Chicken Universe

11.  World without Sinatra

12.  Low resolution blocky universe

13.  Fire hydrant universe

14.  Gay Univese

15.  Earth-Prime

16.  Political Cartoon Universe

17.  The far away guy universe

18.  Misleading prop universe

19.  Dog Universe