I’m Just Pretending.

24 Nov

I’m just pretending.  I’m old on the exterior but I never grew up.  I work hard at being taken seriously, but I go home at night and watch cartoons and read comics.  I’m great with kids because I am a kid.  I watch super-hero movies with the intense seriousness others would apply to doing their taxes.  I would rather have an in-depth conversation about golden age versus silver age Superman than spend five minutes on anything remotely adult.  Heck, I’m wearing Spider-Man underwear right now.

I never grew up, and because of that I also never emotionally matured.  I still have tantrums if I need a nap.  I still have secret crushes but get too scared to ask someone out.  Financial security eludes me because I will order a pizza rather than worry about my phone bill.  I’d rather put off doing dishes to watch Doctor Who.

Today, I wanted to stay home and sleep, but I had to grown-up and come here.  I’m glad I did, but my inner child missed being irresponsible and impulsive.  Adulting is hard.

But sometimes, I’m grateful that I haven’t grown up.  It’s my childishness that allows me to be joyful and optimistic, playful and creative.

I like being a kid at heart, and more and more I’m finding that balance, being an adult, but letting the kid out to play without guilt or shame.

My mother always wanted me to grow up.  But she was always angry and bitter at life.  I’d rather embrace my youthful spirit than to lose it.


Little Bobby

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