@ProbablyWroscon Actually when I was your age I couldn’t grow a beard. It just came out patchy. Years of shaving ev… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 8 hours ago
RT @pattonoswalt: As a comedian, it speaks poorly of me that I always have to check the spelling of "hemorrhoid" and "diarrhea." There I sa… 9 hours ago
@maternity_week If I have to click more than three times and still not get to what the shocking news is then it’s not worth my time. 9 hours ago
@ProbablyWroscon Not to brag, but I can. 9 hours ago
@ProbablyWroscon Especially if you’re not dating the guy who wrote the song. 2 days ago

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